Tamara Agyekum Adjei

“Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed and very dear” – Unknown

“Mama Tamara” - that is what you called me and I called you “daddy”’ or “grandpa”.

I originally met you in Ghana some 25 years ago, when Jeff and I were friends, with no idea you would someday be my father-in-law. Even though you could not be there for our wedding due to your health at the time in 2009, you took the time to order, personalize and individually-wrap all our wedding souvenirs. When I met you again in 2010 during our visit here, we would sit for long periods talking. They were easy and interesting conversations, which we continued to have over the phone in Ghana, and after we finally moved here. Those conversations reminded me so much of similar conversations with my dad until he passed away. Many were the jokes and stories from your young and adult life that you shared with us. We would laugh till tears rolled down our cheeks.

When we had our first son, a Friday born like yourself, it was no surprise that we chose to name him ‘Kofi Adjei’ after you. In recent times we’ve observed our son’s passion for playing soccer, and it was most interesting to find that you were an avid player yourself during your elementary and middle school years. Photos and videos of you playing with them on the field during a Ghana Association picnic in Portland, bring back fond memories. I smile and cry when I look at them now.

Spending time with your grandkids was one of your favorite things. You consistently will ask Kofi and Yaw to come and spend the night or weekend with you. You would have them sing, teach them songs and Twi phrases, or simply indulge their creative sides with lots of paper and coloring materials. They looked forward to times with you, grandpa. You allowed them to sleep later than their established bedtimes, they could watch their favorite shows with no limit, and you took the time to spoon-feed them yourself to ensure they ate all their food. You called Sami (Yaw), “The Dean of the Faculty of Engineering” and Kyle (Kofi Adjei) “The Professor”. They came to love and respond to these pet names.

Due to COVID restrictions and your extended stay in the hospital, Kofi and Yaw struggled with not being able to visit you. Their consolation was the video calls when Grandma Helen visited. You assured them you will get better and they should be ready to stay with you once you were discharged, you as you had missed them.

Running errands for you, and celebrating all birthdays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and other family events were always special with you. As we do each year, I am glad we got to celebrate Father’s day, Maafio’s birthday, and your birthday with you this year.

We enjoyed our regular visits to you and grandma, staying late into the night talking or watching movies. I will also miss our fun karaoke evenings. Each time you walked through our doors, you would announce your presence with “Peace be unto this house”. We enjoyed each of those visits and will cherish them in the months and years to come.

Daddy, you were a great father-in-law for the years that I had the chance to call you mine. You always made me feel loved like I was your own daughter. I am not sure if I ever thanked you enough for being who you were to me. I enjoyed all of the time that we spent together, so it makes it harder to face the reality that this time has run out.

“Da Kofi Adjei, despite the pain that lingers in the core of my being, I have to try to let go as you are resting with the Lord, and no longer in pain. I wish you rest at Abraham’s side. As the tears from our grief roll down, I ask the Lord for peace to ease the pain.

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal” – Unknown

Tamara Agyekum Adjei
Daughter-In-Law